How to Feel your Feelings
Seems a funny thing to write about… but the truth is, most of the time, we were never taught the physical act of feeling your feelings…
So today, I will share a simple process which will allow you to truly connect to your feelings, develop your emotional intelligence, and begin to accept yourself fully.
1. Awareness
When any feeling comes up (whether is be constrictive like, anxiety, fear or sadness, or more expansive like contentedness, joy, happiness) don’t worry so much about labelling what it is, the story of why it’s here, or any other mental analysis.
Simply become aware of where you feel this physical sensation in the body.
For example:
If you feel anxious and notice your throat feels tight and like there’s a lump in it, just place your awareness there.
It might even help to place a hand there.
No judgement, just focus.
2. Breathe
As we continue to focus on this area, breathe into it.
Keep your awareness on this physical space.
Direct your breath to it.
So in the instance of your throat, just keep your focus and hand there, and breathe down into it.
No story, no judgement, just awareness and breath.
3. Movement
It might feel unnatural to start with. But slowly begin to move your body.
Small movements:
Gently moving your head from side to side
Swallowing
Moving your hips in small circles
Bigger movements:
Rolling your shoulders back
Stretching your arms out
Getting up and hitting a pillow / shaking it out
The reason we should move our bodies when we focus on a sensation, is because this sensation/feeling is energy. And energy cannot remain stuck in the body if we move it.
So keep moving your body, preferably in whatever way feels natural. The sensation and feeling will eventually move.
4. Make some noise
This often feels uncomfortable at first. But with your awareness in your body, and moving in whatever way feels natural, try to make a sound.
Small: a sigh out, a hum
Big: a shout, a yawn
No sound is better than the other—do whatever you can here.
Making sound alongside movement can really help to shift stuck energies in the body.
5. Repeat
At first, just do the process outlined above. You may not feel anything but numbness.
That’s ok—it’s actually often a great sign that you are shifting your awareness from external distractions to your internal world.
Keep doing the process. Eventually, you will see that your feelings shift, but they don’t necessarily disappear.
For example:
Your anxiety might shift into sadness.
That sadness might move to a sense of calmness and feeling grounded.
That’s a sign you’ve fully processed the emotion in this moment.
If you feel this, give yourself a huge pat on the back. You’ve faced your emotion, not run from it.
I really hope this was helpful.
If you want to develop more of your body sensitivity, check out my free somatic guided meditations here which will help you drop out of your head and start to truly connect to your body and feelings.