Nervous System Regulation for Women: Reconnecting With Your Body and Finding More Calm
Nervous System Regulation for Women: How Somatic Coaching, Feminine Embodiment and HeartMath Can Help
Do you ever feel like you are constantly “on”? Perhaps your mind is busy thinking about everything you need to do, your body feels tense, or you find it difficult to properly switch off, even when you finally have some time to yourself.
For many women, living with a certain level of stress and busyness can become so normal that we barely notice it anymore. We get very good at getting things done, looking after other people, meeting expectations and pushing through when things feel difficult. Yet underneath all of this, our bodies can be telling us that they need something different.
This is where nervous system regulation can be so valuable. Rather than simply trying to think our way out of stress or telling ourselves that we need to “calm down”, nervous system regulation invites us to pay attention to what is actually happening within the body and to develop ways of supporting ourselves from the inside out.
As a Somatic Coach, HeartMath Coach and Feminine Embodiment Coach, I combine these approaches in my one-to-one work to help women slow down, reconnect with their bodies and develop a greater sense of calm, presence and inner connection.
So, what does nervous system regulation actually mean?
Our nervous system is constantly responding to what is happening around us and within us. When life feels busy, demanding or uncertain, our bodies can become more alert and activated. We might notice that we are holding tension in our shoulders, clenching our jaw, breathing more shallowly or finding it difficult to settle our thoughts.
Sometimes these responses are very obvious, but often they become so familiar that we simply accept them as part of everyday life. We might say, “I'm just stressed”, “I've always been an overthinker” or “I can't switch off”, without realising that our bodies have become accustomed to operating in this way.
Nervous system regulation isn't about trying to feel calm all the time. Life will always contain difficult moments, pressure, uncertainty and change. Instead, it is about becoming more aware of what is happening within us and developing the capacity to respond to ourselves with greater awareness and support.
For me, an important part of this is learning to listen to the body.
Why working with the body can make such a difference
We are often taught to approach our problems through the mind. If something is worrying us, we think about it. If we have a decision to make, we analyse it. If we feel uncomfortable, we try to work out why.
Of course, our thoughts are incredibly useful, but sometimes we can become so focused on what is happening in our minds that we lose touch with the information our bodies are giving us.
Somatic coaching offers a different way of approaching this. Rather than focusing solely on what you are thinking, we become curious about what you are experiencing physically. You might notice tension in your chest when you talk about a particular situation, a heaviness in your body when you think about something you have been avoiding, or a sense of expansion and ease when you talk about something that feels right for you.
These sensations can give us valuable information.
In my sessions, I invite women to slow down enough to notice these signals rather than immediately trying to analyse, fix or override them. With greater body awareness, we can start to recognise our own patterns and become more aware of what we need.
If you'd like to experience this work for yourself, book a complimentary Somatic Taster Session.
Bringing feminine embodiment into nervous system regulation
Feminine embodiment is a particularly beautiful complement to somatic coaching because it invites us to reconnect with qualities that can easily become lost when we spend most of our lives in our heads.
For me, feminine embodiment isn't about fitting into a particular idea of what it means to be feminine. It is about reconnecting with the body, with sensation, intuition, emotion, movement, expression and our own inner knowing. These qualities may traditionally be described as “feminine”, but I believe that every human body can benefit from developing a deeper relationship with them.
Modern life often encourages us to keep moving, achieving and producing. Feminine embodiment offers an opportunity to slow down and ask ourselves what is actually happening underneath all of that activity.
Sometimes that might involve a simple movement practice, where rather than following a particular sequence, you allow your body to move in the way it naturally wants to. You might notice that your hips want to sway, your shoulders want to stretch or your body wants to become completely still. You might then become aware of a particular sensation or emotion and allow yourself to stay with it for a little longer.
There is no need to perform or get it right. The practice is simply about becoming curious and allowing the body to have a voice.
This can be particularly powerful for women who are used to relying heavily on their minds, making decisions based on what they think they should do, or putting their own needs to one side while they take care of everything else.
How HeartMath can support this work
HeartMath brings another practical element to nervous system regulation. One of the practices I use involves bringing your attention towards the area of your heart while breathing slowly and comfortably, creating a moment of intentional connection between your breath, your body and your attention.
I love HeartMath because the practices can be incredibly simple and accessible. You don't necessarily need a long meditation session or a completely quiet room. You can take a few moments to practise during your working day, before an important conversation, after a stressful experience or whenever you notice that you have become caught up in the busyness of your mind.
Rather than trying to force yourself to feel calm, you are creating a small pause in which you can reconnect with yourself and become more aware of your internal state.
This fits beautifully alongside somatic coaching and feminine embodiment because all three approaches encourage us to move away from constantly living from the thinking mind and towards a more embodied experience of ourselves.
Why I combine these approaches in my one-to-one sessions
Although I use all three approaches in my work, I don't believe that nervous system regulation should become another thing that women feel they have to “do perfectly”.
There isn't one technique that will work in exactly the same way for everyone. Your body, your experiences, your patterns and your circumstances are completely unique, which is why I take an individual approach in my one-to-one sessions.
Sometimes we might work with a particular somatic practice to help you become more aware of what is happening in your body. At another point, feminine embodiment and movement might help you reconnect with an emotion or an inner knowing that you have been ignoring. We might also use a HeartMath practice to bring your attention back to your breath and heart.
The important thing is not the technique itself, but developing a deeper relationship with yourself.
Over time, you can begin to recognise when you are becoming overwhelmed, notice the signals your body is giving you and discover the practices that genuinely support you. Rather than always looking outside yourself for the answer, you can begin to develop your own capacity to listen, respond and care for yourself.
You don't have to keep pushing through
If you have spent years being the person who keeps everything together, slowing down can actually feel quite uncomfortable at first. You may be very good at achieving, solving problems and carrying on, but perhaps there is a part of you that is longing for something different.
Perhaps you want to feel more present in your body rather than constantly lost in your thoughts. Perhaps you want to reconnect with your intuition and your own needs, or simply experience more moments of peace and ease in your everyday life.
This is the work I love to explore with women.
Through somatic coaching, feminine embodiment and HeartMath, I create a space where you can step away from the constant doing and give yourself permission to slow down, listen and reconnect with the wisdom of your own body.
You don't have to arrive knowing exactly what you need. Sometimes the first step is simply becoming curious about what your body has been trying to tell you.
Experience it for yourself
If you would like to experience this work rather than simply reading about it, I offer one-to-one Somatic Coaching sessions and complimentary Somatic Taster Sessions.
Together, we can explore what is currently happening in your life and body and discover some simple, practical ways to support greater calm, connection and embodied presence.
Book a complimentary Somatic Taster Session or get in touch to arrange a chat.
About Me
I'm Christina Shakelian, a Somatic Coach, HeartMath Coach and Feminine Embodiment Coach trained with the School of Embodied Arts. I combine body-focused somatic coaching with my background in corporate coaching, including more than 10 years working in management at Apple.
My work is particularly focused on helping women who are tired of constantly being in their heads, pushing through and putting their own needs aside. Through body-based practices and coaching, I help women reconnect with themselves, develop greater awareness of their nervous system and cultivate more calm, confidence and inner knowing in their everyday lives.